Executive Function – Stop Sabotaging Yourself and Start Thriving
Part 5: The ADHD Executive Dysfunction Cycle
“ADHD isn’t an excuse, but it is an explanation. Understanding it over time helps reduce self-sabotaging habits and behaviors and start improving your holistic health”
Introduction: The ADHD Executive Dysfunction Cycle
Let’s cut to the chase—if you have ADHD, chances are you’ve been stuck in a cycle of procrastination, overwhelm, guilt, repeat. You start projects with the best intentions, get sidetracked, forget deadlines, then beat yourself up for “failing” again.
Women with ADHD, in particular, tend to blame themselves first. They put everyone else’s needs ahead of their own, manage a mental checklist longer than a CVS receipt, and then wonder why they’re exhausted, frustrated, and stuck in an endless loop of self-doubt.
Here’s the truth: It’s not about “trying harder.” It’s about stopping the patterns that are setting you up for failure. It’s time to stop people-pleasing, stop over-apologizing, and stop pretending you can do it all without support.
1. Stop Putting Yourself Last
You can’t take care of everyone else if you’re running on fumes. ADHD makes it ridiculously easy to get caught in “I'll just finish this one thing first” mode, except it never ends. Work, family, friendships, chores… everything gets prioritized over your own well-being. Then you burn out in a cycle.
Stop it.
How to Fix It:
Schedule yourself FIRST. Put self-care, breaks, and personal time in your calendar before anything else. No one’s going to hand you time—you have to take it.
Learn to say NO (and mean it). If it’s not a priority, it’s a distraction.
Treat your energy like currency. Sometimes its top ramen budget.
Reality Check: People will adjust. Your job will survive. Your family will be fine. But there are crashes when you keep putting yourself last.
2. Stop Overthinking Every Little Thing
ADHD brains love a good overthinking spiral. You replay conversations, second-guess decisions, and mentally rehearse worst-case scenarios until you're emotionally drained before you even take action. Sound familiar?
Stop it.
How to Fix It:
Set a decision deadline. Give yourself 10 minutes (or less) to make a call and stick with it. No revisiting, no ruminating.
Limit your options. Too many choices = overwhelm. Narrow it down to 2-3 options and pick one.
Ask, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Spoiler: It’s usually not that bad. You’ll survive.
Reality Check: The world won’t implode if you make the “wrong” choice. In fact, taking imperfect action beats sitting in paralysis every single time.
3. Stop the “All or Nothing” Thinking
ADHD brains love extremes. If you can’t do something perfectly, why bother? You either clean the entire house or let it fall apart. You start a fitness routine, miss a day, and quit altogether. Sound familiar?
Stop it.
How to Fix It:
Done is better than perfect. A little progress is still progress.
Break it down. Instead of "clean the entire house," start with one corner of a room.
Give yourself grace. Missing a day doesn’t mean failure—it means you're human.
Reality Check: Progress, not perfection, is what actually gets you where you want to be. Stop letting perfectionism keep you stuck.
4. Stop Avoiding Systems That Actually Work for You
If you’ve ever said, “I’ve tried everything, nothing works for me,” it’s because you’re likely using neurotypical systems that don’t fit your ADHD brain. The problem isn’t you—it’s the system. Stop forcing yourself into a mold that doesn’t fit.
Stop it. Seriously.
How to Fix It:
Use systems that embrace your brain. If traditional planners don’t work, try visual boards, voice memos, or post-it walls.
Make it fun. Attach rewards and dopamine hits to tasks you hate doing.
Accountability matters. Find a coach, friend, or app to help keep you on track.
Reality Check: You don’t have to be “organized” the way everyone else is—just find what works and stick to it.
5. Stop Letting Overwhelm Control You
Overwhelm is ADHD kryptonite. It sneaks up on you, builds in the background, and suddenly you’re frozen, staring at your to-do list like it’s written in hieroglyphics. Instead of doing anything, you do nothing.
Stop it.
How to Fix It:
The Two-Minute Rule: If it takes less than 2 minutes, do it now (timers help to actually see this, because time is difficult).
Start with the easiest task. Momentum builds motivation.
Take breaks BEFORE you think you need them. Your brain will thank you later.
Reality Check: Overwhelm is inevitable. What matters is how quickly you reset and move forward.
6. Stop Comparing Yourself to Neurotypicals
You are NOT a broken version of a neurotypical person. You’re wired differently, and that’s okay. Comparing yourself to your coworkers, friends, or family who “seem to have it all together” is setting yourself up for failure.
Stop it.
How to Fix It:
Own your neurodivergence. You think and work differently—embrace it.
Find your tribe. Connect with other ADHDers who understand the struggle.
Redefine success. Your journey won’t look like theirs, and it’s not supposed to.
Reality Check: The only person you should be comparing yourself to is past you. Progress is personal.
Conclusion: Stop Surviving, Start Thriving
Managing ADHD isn’t about becoming someone you’re not. It’s about working with your brain, setting boundaries, and unapologetically taking up space in your own life. ADHD comes with challenges, but with the right strategies (and a little self-compassion), you can create a life that works for you.
Coming Next: In Part 6, we’ll explore ADHD in relationships—how to build healthy connections without losing yourself in the process.
Bro this is such genuinely helpful info and practical strategies 🔥🔥🔥